Dream

I woke early this morning with a disturbing dream. I dreamt that Shawn and I had just come home from a funeral. Exhausted and sad, I lied down to take a nap. During the nap, I dreamed that I was having a conversation with the deceased. Only, it wasn't really a dream. I was actually having a conversation with the deceased who turned out to be my friend, Phil. Phil was telling me that I should honor him by going out and eating a particular flavor of ice cream. I don't recall the flavor, but the brand looked like a former Soviet Union type brand with the lettering in bright gold and the letters were "CCEE", with the "CC" in backwards script. The ice cream was basically a chocolate nougat with almonds in vanilla. Phil said, "If you get one of the knock offs, then be sure to get one with whole almonds. It's got to be whole almonds. That's what makes it. Don't get it with other nuts or chopped nuts or almond slivers. That shit ain't right." In my dream's dream I woke up and started to tell Shawn about it. Then I really did wake up, but Shawn was fast asleep.

I got out of bed and went to get a glass of water. I returned to bed, hoping to sleep some more. I dozed off for a bit, but I found the dream quite unsettling. I finally just got up. The whole dream was obviously silly. It originated from a combination of things. First, reading Neil Gaiman's American Gods has me thinking about dreams and dream interpretation. Secondly, Phil hasn't been signed on to any messaging software lately, but his wife is overseas and I figured he was taking some time for himself and the boys. Third, I'm pretty sure that my neighbors had a death in the family and the funeral was yesterday.

To bring some resolution to my concerns, I sent Phil an email this morning. I told him of this dream and remarked how silly I felt about being unsettled about it. The email was just a quick note to ask if he was OK. It ended with: "Of course, if you're not, then I won't demand a reply."

Phil wrote back. He was at Disney with the boys. All is well except for his workload today.

A side note: I was telling Shawn about the whole episode this morning. She reminded me that we have some experience with writing dead people in our past. Shawn wrote an email to our friend Margie some years ago. It was an hour or two later when we learned of Margie's death at the hands of a gunman, who was on a rampage because Margie's daughter broke up with him, earlier that morning. I had written Shawn an Instant Message and she told me the news that she had just found out. We were both in shock. Shawn found out by reading about it on the web. The family still has scars from losing their matriarch and a daughter as well as having a brother shot in the rampage. Even now, my fingers grow weak thinking of it.